Trust Me. It's About Trust

When I ask people what they want more of at work, trust is at the top of the list.

The dictionary defines trust as being able to rely on others—their actions, abilities, character. It means we can predict with reasonable accuracy how people are likely to respond in a given situation.

But trust goes deeper than the ability to make safe bets about people’s behavior. When you trust, you are placing yourself in someone else’s hands. You are vulnerable, often emotionally as much as physically. Nothing stings quite so much as feeling that someone has betrayed your trust; on the other hand nothing unites people—in marriage, friendship, teamwork—as much as trust. That’s why, as George MacDonald said, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.”

So how can you increase trust—as a colleague, leader or friend—using The FISH! Philosophy? Trust is a huge topic, but here are a few observations:

Be There
Being there for people when they ask for your help certainly increases trust. But you can take trust to an even higher level by actively looking for ways to help rather than just waiting for people to come to you.

Being there doesn’t always take much time, but it always takes commitment. People may not need you every moment, but when they do, they need all of you. Your willingness to listen, without judgment, and follow through on what you’ve learned is key to trust. When you mess up on a commitment, an apology can start to repair trust, but repeated apologies, without follow-through, signal that you are not really serious about cementing trust.

Choose Your Attitude
How do you respond to mistakes? How do you deal with disagreements? The saying is old but the lesson is always new: Trust takes a long time to build but can be destroyed in a few seconds. Is the reaction or criticism you are about to unleash worth more than the relationship that will be affected by it?

Make Their Day
Say you receive a gift or award from someone who otherwise expends little effort getting to know or acknowledge you. You may value the thing you received, but you’re no more likely to trust the person than you did before. Make Their Day is most meaningful when it focuses on building relationships rather than just giving things. Simple gestures go a long way: Show people how much you value them. Notice who they are and thank them for what they do. Ask people what they think and really listen to their ideas. Encourage people. Gifts and awards are nice, but they are more meaningful when they affirm the appreciation you are already demonstrating.

Play
It’s impossible to have a playful, enthusiastic culture without trust. If people don’t feel safe, they will avoid doing anything that might get them into trouble. Instead of serving others in a lighthearted, genuine, “be yourself” way, they will serve in a way that’s robotic, scripted and by the numbers. People won’t be proactive in considering new ideas and look for solutions. Be clear about what you are trying to achieve as a team and the values you want to live by. Once you know what your “playing field” is, give people freedom to play within the boundaries of that field in a way that trusts them and stretches their creativity.


Finally, to earn trust, you have to be willing to give it. Ernest Hemingway said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” Trust means taking a chance; someone has to take the first step. And you have to keep working at it. Yes, you can build a reserve of trust to draw upon when needed, but trust isn’t something you achieve once and never have to pay attention to again. Trust is a living entity that needs constant nourishment, and you feed it with caring, commitment and consistency.

Want to build trust in your organization? Find out more about ChartHouse Learning's newest product, the FISH! For Leaders series.

Written by John Christensen, CEO of ChartHouse Learning