The Power of Curiosity

In a recent newspaper column, David Brooks was discussing several ideas from social scientists on how to improve our thinking. One was that we need to become more aware that many beliefs we accept as “normal or inevitable” started as decisions that were logical at the time, and they continue to be accepted though the original reason no longer makes sense.

For example, Brooks notes, “typewriters used to jam if people typed too fast, so manufacturers designed a keyboard that would slow typists.” That’s not a problem any more, yet the letters on most computer keyboards are still arranged as they were when everyone used typewriters.

This column got me to thinking: If our well-worn beliefs (also known as paradigms) sometimes keep us from working more efficiently, they can also affect our relationships. How often do our assumptions limit our ability to really understand each other? I think most of us listen one way to people we like and trust, and another to people we don’t. It’s hard not to, when past experiences led us to think in ways that made sense at the moment. The question is: Do those ways of thinking still make sense?

Be There means setting aside your feelings about the person, and focusing on the words they are speaking. Curiosity is essential. Often people don’t hear because they’re stuck in their own thoughts about the person or situation. When you’re curious, you don’t assume anything. You seek to learn, and that means setting aside what you think you already know. When you are curious, you move beyond your world and into theirs. You find out more about what the person thinks, feels and values. When you listen openly, intently, the recipient of your curiosity feels acknowledged. As your relationship improves, trust increases and you communicate even better.

Of course, curiosity is key to living the other practices of The FISH! Philosophy as well. People who are willing to “play” with ideas discover new ways to do their jobs better and have fun doing it. When we choose an attitude of openness, there is less room left for negativity that flows out of the past. When we are curious about finding ways to show people we value them, we see opportunities all around us to Make Their Day.

What made sense yesterday may no longer apply. Focus on today, and you’ll discover better relationships and new possibilities. You may even type faster.

-John Christensen, CEO an Playground Director of ChartHouse Learning